“All Over Again” – The Story Behind the Song

How did this song come to be? 

Start listening below, and read on for the story of its inception and creation – 

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Rachel asked me to write a song for her husband JD, about their story. She wanted a gift to give him on New Years Day 2020, for their 4th wedding anniversary on January 9th, but she wasn’t sure exactly what it would look like.

So I sat down with her and starting asking her questions about their relationship:

*and now with their permission to share these parts of their story…*

“Let’s start from the beginning: how did you guys meet, and how did you start dating?”

She told me about how they had been friends for years, but sort of friendly enemies throughout high school – they would always make fun of each other and be really mean toward one another. Until one day she wrote a poem about him that ended “can we begin again?” – and gave it to him in a stack of other poems, not expecting that he would know it’s about him…

One night, in a rare moment of honesty, he looked her in the eye and said: “I would like it too if we could begin again”.

But they still didn’t quite know how to express their desire for intimacy. They kept subtly (subconsciously?) flirting with one another, “best friends” that spent all their time together, making fun of each other. So when she started college and they didn’t know how they would keep in touch now that they were going to different schools, they planned to get together weekly to catch up. Just for friendship. Right?

But the first time they got together, they hung out in the fire escape of a dorm on a campus and, as a band played Taylor Swift covers in the background, she said:

“Was there anything you want to talk about?”
“I can’t think of anything…”
(in her mind: “…am I going to have to do this?”)
“Friends don’t act like we’ve been acting recently…”
“Ohh I’m so sorry, I overstepped… I’m so bad at this, I’m so bad at this, I’m so sorry!”

But then all his feelings from the past years hit him all at once and he said:
“I guess I like you.”

Caught off guard, she forgot to say it back, and instead said “now what?”
“Well, it depends…”
“OH, I like you too.”

“What are some significant moments or memories or themes from your relationship the past few years?”

She told me about how they enjoyed making hospitable room for others together, and want their love to be a “living, growing, expanding thing” that isn’t boxed in or kept, but there’s always more to see and discover, and they want their love to continually make more room for others.

She said they referred to the process of getting to know each other as exploring each other’s “internal continent”

She told me about many of the painful things they’ve been through, and how learning to be patient through it has been an important part of their story – and that he got a hint that she had a gift for him (this song) and was very impatient to find out what it was.

She gave me some of his letters and told me some important things he had said to her:
“You’re stuck with me, darling, and I ain’t leaving…”
“You’re more precious than I can say…”
“You burst forth into my life like the dandelion that you are…”
“There were lots of poppies by the roadside too, but I didn’t pick you any because you asked me not to. But every time I saw them I thought of you, and how beautiful you are. More than any flower of the earth.”
and, inspired by a favorite poem of theirs, he said this to her in a long letter:
“I want you to know that if God brings me home, I will look on our first three years and long to return to seek you through the world, to find you (recognizing you by your beauty), to marry you, to do it all again with you.”

“What have been some some important artists or songs in your relationship?”
(In order to get a sense of their musical taste and adapt to it)

City Colour – especially “The Girl”
Damien Rice – especially “The Blower’s Daughter”
Sufjan Stevens – especially “They are night zombies”
(“he particularly loves the bass line, the dance and rhythm of it”)
Bon Iver – especially “Flume”
Penny and Sparrow – especially “Duet”

So.

I told her I’d get back to her in a few weeks with the beginning of a song – I wrote all the important things down, spent some time listening to their favorite music, and let all the themes and moments simmer for a while.

Then one day as I was driving – actually to their house for dinner one night (often my best melodies come while driving) – the song found it’s way to the surface! After dinner he happened to leave the house to go somewhere, so I pulled out a guitar and played the first draft for her and a few of her friends, and we all got a little teary.

Then we went back and forth, sending lyrics and edits and new drafts, until we had a final draft that we both thought was perfect.

I hopped into my studio and recorded it all, passed on the files to one of the best mixers I know, Caleb Parker, and he sent it back all polished and perfect. Then I sent her the song in it’s finished form so she could play it during their trip up the coast to celebrate their anniversary – and she played it for him on New Years Day!

Rachel told me that JD teared up even before he heard the song, as she told him about the process, and then once she played it for him he said “let’s listen again!” several times through the day, saying over and over “I can’t believe we have a song as a part of our story!”

Enjoy the story of Rachel and JD Neal, “All Over Again”:
(lyrics below)

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Lyrics